The horror flick, at its height, was a lyrical caressing of our fears; by the end of this nonsense, you fear for the well-being of the genre. 'It's dead!'
It's empty calories: There isn't a single nourishing, non-synthetic sequence in the entire movie. Not a scene. Not a line. Not a look.
-David EdelsteinFull Review
This moronic abomination is not a movie. It's just a noisy, nasty and repulsive video game-slash- theme-park haunted-house ride designed to appeal to the offspring of warlocks and trolls.
-Rex ReedFull Review
This is one of the dopiest movies of the year.
-Richard RoeperFull Review
The orgy of morphing, shrieking, lightning-cracking, and habitual rope-swinging quickly turns oppressive.
-Ed ParkFull Review
A special-effects extravaganza that uses the barest of excuses to bring these characters together.
There's never a dull moment, but there's also never a moment. It never stops. It's a perpetual-motion machine.
A junk-food feast for the eyes and utterly thought-cleansing fast for the intellect.
-Geoff PevereFull Review
This movie is just too silly for words.
-Moira MacDonaldFull Review
A big, loud, boring wreck.
-Mick LaSalleFull Review
This is what happens when you spend pots of money on special effects but don't give a fig about storytelling.
-Stephanie ZacharekFull Review
Feels more like a glorified trailer -- all rampaging high points edited into a frenzy -- than like an actual movie.
-Joe BaltakeFull Review
A turbo-charged retelling of the Dracula, Frankenstein and Wolf Man sagas, this extravagant creature-feature crams everything in but Abbott and Costello.
-Jay BoyarFull Review
The experience of watching the film is best described as deadening.
-Lisa RoseFull Review
Van Helsing is more amusing and exciting than frightening.
Old monster movies were thrilling in a way that mingled terror, sexuality and a real preference for the monsters over their tormentors. Van Helsing is a kiddie adventure on an endless, meaningless loop.
-Jami BernardFull Review
The rare kind of movie where the badness just adds to the fun.
-Rene RodriguezFull Review
We've seen worse movies -- I'm sure of it -- but this opening salvo of the summer season is so extravagantly, off-the-wall bad it pushes the others from memory.
-Eric HarrisonFull Review
The idea is every bit as dumb as the execution.
-Rick GroenFull Review
No one's going to argue that Van Helsing is a great movie, but it's just the sort of loud, splashy, silly, summer fun flick we've come to expect.
Loud, clunky attempt at updating the classic Universal Pictures baddies of the '30s and '40s.
-John MonaghanFull Review
A vampire movie that's dressed to kill, but unable to draw blood.
Enjoying the overblown but well-intentioned Van Helsing requires the campy mind-set of that TV show, not the spooky gravity of classic monster flicks.
-Michael BoothFull Review
Silly and spectacular, and fun.
-Roger EbertFull Review
Van Helsing is one excruciatingly loud set piece of CGI hooey after another, and when a character or a plot twist does manage to make you laugh, you're not sure whether it's camp or ineptitude.
-Ty BurrFull Review
Looks like a movie assembled by a room full of computer geeks munching Doritos and playing Wolfenstein in between stints of designing Dracula's fangs.
-Bill MullerFull Review
The dashing Jackman plays his part well enough, but the script doesn't provide sufficient Indiana Jones-style bons mots to win us over.
-Claudia PuigFull Review
A shrieking bore.
A noisy, 19th-century fantasy adventure that goes nowhere.
Despite the rococo obsessiveness of its special effects and its voracious sampling of past horror movies, Van Helsing is mostly content to offer warmed-over allusions and secondhand thrills.
-A.O. ScottFull Review